foreign exchange

A biracial couple were having an argument and the man insinuated that the woman should be cooking him dinner. She replied, "Hey, I'm not fucking your mother!"

The man, a native English speaker, of course exploded into raucous hoots and hollers. 

"Darling I think you mean, "Hey, I'm not your fucking mother", please be careful!"

Moral of the story: the importance of word placement in english conversation.

Also, one of my friends after a hectic night in a game arcade offered to give me a lift and said, "I want to give you pleasure". I hesitated a moment and burst out laughing. The student realised and turned bright red. He then corrected himself, "I want to please you...".. I said, "Mmmm, maybe, it's my pleasure is better".

Moral of the story: Pay attention in class otherwise you will offer a foreign girl your peeps.

An elderly protestant woman is staying in a plush casino in Las Vegas. She gets in an elevator and is followed in by two African American men. The woman presses her floor and one of the men says "Hit the ground (floor)"... The woman preceded to lie down on the floor of the elevator with her hands in the air. The two men crack up into absolute hysterics. It turns out that the men in question were Eddie Murphy and Magic Johnson. The next day, the concierge delivers the woman a bunch of roses... made from hundred dollar bills. True story. 

Moral of the story: sometimes your innate racism can make you money. Not a good example.