Sunday, April 26, 2009

i love the japanese school uniform.. i wish i had gone to school here!

foreign exchange


A biracial couple were having an argument and the man insinuated that the woman should be cooking him dinner. She replied, "Hey, I'm not fucking your mother!"
The man, a native English speaker, of course exploded into raucous hoots and hollers. 
"Darling I think you mean, "Hey, I'm not your fucking mother", please be careful!"
Moral of the story: the importance of word placement in english conversation.

Also, one of my friends after a hectic night in a game arcade offered to give me a lift and said, "I want to give you pleasure". I hesitated a moment and burst out laughing. The student realised and turned bright red. He then corrected himself, "I want to please you...".. I said, "Mmmm, maybe, it's my pleasure is better".
Moral of the story: Pay attention in class otherwise you will offer a foreign girl your peeps.

An elderly protestant woman is staying in a plush casino in Las Vegas. She gets in an elevator and is followed in by two African American men. The woman presses her floor and one of the men says "Hit the ground (floor)"... The woman preceded to lie down on the floor of the elevator with her hands in the air. The two men crack up into absolute hysterics. It turns out that the men in question were Eddie Murphy and Magic Johnson. The next day, the concierge delivers the woman a bunch of roses... made from hundred dollar bills. True story. 
Moral of the story: sometimes your innate racism can make you money. Not a good example.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

oh-ho! part deux

i fell off my bike again, ate some gravel, and now i have a big chunk missing from my chin which no amount of concealer can cover. 

Why do you think I fell off this time?

a) i had just been to 3 hours of nomihodai aka drunkety mcdrunk 
b) i was wearing 6 inch navy satin sonia rykiel heels (not practical for cycling) 
c) i have absolutely no balance, common sense or brakes! 
d) all of the above

take your pick!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

top ten best cartoons when i was a kidlet

because everyone loves a good list..
in no particular order...
  1. Babar
  2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  3. Ch Ch Ch Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers
  4. SuperTed
  5. Scooby Doo
  6. Rocky and Bullwinkle
  7. The Simpsons
  8. Rugrats
  9. The Smurfs
  10. Duck Tales

Friday, April 17, 2009

did you know?!



when George Lucas was making Star Wars, he called up a Miyagi museum to request a photo of Date Masamune's armour?

This became the inspiration for Darth Vader's attire!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

2 minutes in my head

my neighbours must be shirty about the blasting of Montell Jordan and incessant chopping tonight (carrots are very crunchy and its tough with a blunt knife on a metal surface to be quiet).

goodnight mr. tom is the greatest pre-teens book. it had a lasting and profound impact on me.

Being a native english speaker, i didn't realise how difficult phrasal verbs are in english. There are so many and they don't make sense. You don't physically look up, when you look something up.

There is nothing like having a crush on someone. Crushes and the initial flirting is one of the best parts of a relationship.

I really need to buy some harem pants. but then i have no shoes to match... hmmm....

I feel forlorn this minute because i sense as if my youth is coming to an end and I don't like the idea of full-scale adulthood, which means real life, then death and I'm not sure if I'm ready for either. sorry to get my gloom on. moving on...

Pocari Sweat, a Japanese drink, actually tastes like sweat. or what i imagine sweat to taste like. Don't try this at home, kids.

Only idiots move to Japan if they are vegetarians who don't eat seafood.

rockwerchter has the best lineup of any music festival i have ever seen. stupid belgium.
the prodigy, oasis, placebo, tiga, lily allen, coldplay, the killers, bloc party, lady gaga, the streets, jason mraz, henry rollins, 2manydjs, kings of leon, nick cave (although i hate him), franz ferd, limp bizkit, rodrigo y gabriela, boys noize, grace jones, yeah yeah yeahs, metallica, NIN, kaiser chiefs!!!, black eyed peas, mars volta, metro station and royksopp.. AMAZING. and my little bitch of a sister is going.

i really like the kaiser chiefs. i have a thing for angry brits. i think maybe i was sid vicious in a past life. my current life must be exceedingly dull in comparison.

i heart vivienne westwood.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

top 10 best dances from tv show sitcoms

i know you all love a good list so here is one i have put together for your viewing pleasure.



sweet fancy moses- Elaine Benes Dance from Seinfeld
Outstanding.



ross and monica routine- Friends
Hilarious.



the rerun dance- both the original and this one from Scrubs which i like better




Arrested Development Chicken Dance- GOB is the best
this is the best dance. hands down.



Carlton Dance- from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Alfonso Ribeiro is the king.



on that note- one more from Fresh Prince

This one from Black Books is outstanding... click on this link
pls note, the dancing really starts at approx 1 minute in but you should watch the whole thing. DANCE OFF!






Scrubs- 99 Luftballoons.. the best way to connect with Germans
Amazing.




Perfect Strangers- Dance of Joy- i heart Balki




Another one from Scrubs.. sorry, i ran out of shows...
Turk dances to Poison by Bel Biv Devoe

Thursday, April 2, 2009

black door matcha jelly peacocks plastic harem

i forgot to say whats on my mind. thats kinda what having a blog is for.
so, here goes...
i found nutella today at the imports store and got a little too excited. i let out a minor squeal and the woman behind me doused my newly dry-cleaned jacket in her mini cup of complimentary coffee. it was worth it and that coffee is so good. i bought some guac, olives, pickles and corn chips. it only cost me the price of a small horse, by which i mean a shetland pony, those freaky midget horses you find in dark alleys.

i am currently reading dropsnap online (amazing!), watching black books (on mute so i can listen to music at the same time), listening to the doors (which makes me miss my dad) whoop now tiny dancer, eating low-cal mango jelly, drinking matchaaaa, reading pigeons and peacocks the magazine, thinking about harem pants and oh shit i think i just ate some plastic, and now also thinking about finally sewing my jacket button back on. 

i really don't like ironing. if a fat bald man said to me that he would do my ironing, i'd probably marry him. i have a thing for fat baldies anyway, everyone knows that.

i can almost read 2 of 3 japanese alphabets yet still don't know what i'm eating half the time. and i don't even care. i think i'd know if it was whale or horse. my coworker rattled me just the other day when he said in his kaiseki (luxury set meal) at a ryokan in kyoto, there was turtle. what if i accidentally eat turtle? oh no. 

rain is miserable. i miss my shoes. i love my friends. kiwis are tasty.
goodnight.
x
i forgot to say how much i love sitcoms. that is all.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

fruits is the best magazine in the world


please buy fruits. no, not for your health, but for your pleasure. 

its the greatest magazine and i hope to plaster my home in the eccentric and outstanding outfits that these everyday pedestrians come up with.

i think you can buy it in Sydney at Kinokuniya downtown. run!

back in the day...


www.whatkatiedid.com

check out this website. I think there is nothing sexier than back-seam stockings and a pencil skirt.
i love the novelty pointy bras. I wish i lived in a different era so i could wear that shit.

or i could be one of those randoms who wear clothes entirely from one era a la the greasers in yoyogi park. no matter what anyone says, these guys are cool.